Monday, June 28, 2010

I want a boy and not a girl

"I didn't want a girl because I would have to keep an eye on her and be worried about her all the time"

This comes from a woman who is well-educated, city bred and is expected to be less conservative.

Is that a good enough reason for not wanting a girl?

Now, I don't have kids so I really do not know how it feels; but, I don't think any reason is good enough for not wanting a girl child.

She is from a family of only daughters, and probably there has been a social stigma on her family of not having brother/son......the one who would supposedly take care of the parents in the old age. When the daughters got married, they were relieved upon having boys of their own. They thought they proved a point and that the social stigma doesn't exist anymore.

Here, it is illegal to determine the sex of a child before birth. What if she had a girl instead of a boy? Would she have said to her daughter that she didn't want her because she is a girl and cause of more worries?

She says that her mother also wanted her to have a boy for the same reason.

There are people existing that do not want girls for the reasons mentioned above. They also say that a lot of money is spent on their education and in getting them married, not to mention the dowry; If they are working, all the money would go to the husband's family, so what's the point of having a girl, anyway; And, if something goes wrong, it will bring shame to the family, etc...

Some blatently say that, and some, the educated ones, say it in a more polished manner.

The meaning is the same.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

They judge me before they even know me.

Every one is different. Some people make friends quickly, some take a few months, and some take years. I would place myself in the last category. It takes me a very long time to warm up to a person. I think that is the reason I don't have a lot of friends. I particularly do not have such a desire, either. I am happy being within the tiny circle that I have had for years. And if my friends are not around, which has been the case for a few years now, I do not feel bad. I am content, and happy.

The time when I feel bad is when I think that I can allow more people into my life and they jump to conclusions as to what type of person I am and end things abruptly.

Today, I had a conversation with a person for the first time that lasted for not more than a minute. And, the conclusion about me was something like....You are the type who has no place for someone new in your life, and, you have no desire either. I hope you have a good life with you and you alone. Good Luck!

I was surprised by this conclusion, because I had no where in the conversation indicated anything like this. I was asked what I was doing. To which, I replied that I was spending the evening with I, me, and myself (it was said as a joke, anyway). I do not know how having said that one could have such an impression.

It was very evident from the conversation that this person will not spend time in knowing me and will be quick to jump to conclusions (It could be that even I am jumping to a conclusion). But, after all that person said to me, I didn't feel like giving any explanation. I just said that you are right and kept quite.

Finding quick answers to friendships and relations is beyond me. I like to spend time with people I like. I observe them, not because I have to find faults, but, to know them more, and so that their personality becomes familiar and sinks in. All this makes me more comfortable in their presence. It would be nice if people hae the same approach with me. Slow, and steady. It also shows that the person has a interest.

I guess even I have drawn a conclusion and also given an explanation. Maybe, we are not different, afterall. Hmmm...